Ask a Redhead #2!

August 3, 2007

In our second installment of Ask a Redhead!, Tom writes:

“I heard that redheads don’t like other redheads, is this true? If so, why?”

This is only partially true, Tom. It’s a little known fact that Redheads evolved from Japanese fighting fish. In his book On the Origin of Species, Charles Darwin stated that fish walked out of the water and became mankind. He didn’t get into specific breeds, but when you think about it, it’s kind of obvious. Anyway, that’s where Redheads come from–Japanese fighting fish. Through the couple of hundreds of years that humans evolved from legged fish into the way we look today, the Japanese fighting fish, or redheads, didn’t get along too well. For about 30 years there could only be one Japanese fighting fish/redhead (at this time, the man/fish line started to blur) per village as putting them together often resulted in a bit of blood and a lot of hurt feelings. However, evolution being the beautiful thing it is, our brains developed, and like every other fish, we learned how to rationalize, think critically, and use logic to solve problems. Over time, redheads, like the rest of mankind, adapted to their new environments, and lived together in communities much like we live in today.

So, while homes were built, economies were established, and new places were settled upon, Redheads learned to live amongst each other in relative peace. That’s not to say that the primal instinct to violently remove another Redhead’s appendages upon sight doesn’t exist. It does. It’s just not as pronounced. And it took a very long time to achieve this level of neutrality.

Take note next time you see two Redheads cross paths. The sound of grinding teeth through their smiling facades is unavoidable. And never, ever put two redheads in the same body of water.

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7 Responses to “Ask a Redhead #2!”

  1. Bevvie said

    Interesting.
    If redheads evolved from Japanese fighting fish, why don’t we see more redheaded Japanesez?

  2. Japanese fighting fish aren’t actually Japanese. They’re Nordic. Their naming was all part of The Big Deception the Vikings played in on the rest of the world. The reasons for this predate written history, though many suspect it has something to do with making it easier to rape and pillage.

  3. Stephanie Wilkinson said

    I am a redhead and i evolved from the devil herself!That’s how come my hair is red. The warmth of the fire melted my red horns and i got red hair!As far as us not liking each other..Pish Posh! Totally false. We have an understanding of each other, we know the hardships of being different as a child.Do you know what it is like to be a redhead girl? It was always. “It was the little redhead that did it!” Not to many of us around either.So you are always remembered!When we cross paths, we do this little nod thing. Kind of like Harley Riders!True story!

  4. April S said

    I am a Redhead and although I dont dislike other redheads They do make me uncomfortable if there are more than 2 in the same room its like we all know or think that the other ones are staring at us to see if we look alike its strange there is a type of red head that when you have that shade you all look a like it strange no relation but very similar looking that is just my 2 cents

  5. Nicole said

    I’m a natural redhead myself, and I generally don’t feel any animosity towards OTHER redheads. Quite the contrary in fact… I’d say I feel more of a kinship with them. (Like the Harley riders analogy-it was a very good one!;) But then, it’s not very often that I find myself in the same room with more than one. Yes, we are unique, and I like it! 🙂

  6. mark said

    I’m a red head and I hate all red heads too. Especially Opie, Carrot Top, and Ferraris. These soon to be dead red heads have been a constant pain in my pail white ass all my life. Except the Ferraris, those cars are sweet. And I’m a sucker for red headed girls. Come to think of it my best friend is a red head. And Chuck Norris is cool…
    I love you guys.

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