No, you can’t have a house arrest. Not yours.

June 9, 2007

I’m in an unusually good mood today. “Why Andrew!?”, you ask? Well, as I’m sure everyone on the Western Hemisphere and beyond knows by now, Paris Hilton was ordered back to court from her short stint on home arrest, and was then sentenced to serve out the original 45 day term of her offense, in jail, rather than the 23 or 25 day sentence she got for “good behavior” (read: carrying around a self-help book and bible whilst donning an overtly expensive suite not unlike a nun’s smock). I don’t have to get into all the details; One picture says it all–and this very picture made my day ten times over. Enjoy.

A thread that’s found here, at my favourite website,, contains what I can only assume is the best commentary on the whole debacle:
I highly recommend taking an hour out of your day and reading it from top to bottom. At the time of blogging, there was 1901 comments–and they’re all gems.

It’s the weekend. Go enjoy your sun and beer and all the debauchery that’s sure to manifest itself as a result.

Oh, and on a side note, apparently people read this thing and have been recommending it! Thanks! (Hi Dad!)
Now, if those who read it tell their friends, and those friends tell their friends, and friend’s friends and such, I might be able to sucker a large cornucopia of small online companies into advertising here, then live off those earnings so that I can further provide you with stellar content that carries no consequence to anyone,nor makes any contribution to anything outside of the mild amusement of the 10 (at best) people that come here.

Just kidding. I’d only drink a lot more.


One Response to “No, you can’t have a house arrest. Not yours.”

  1. jayphill said

    This week again is amazing. I was speaking with Micheal Crumpton and Samantha yesterday about me writing my memoirs. Sam brought up the possibility of getting published and if Oprah called me to do a show with her for my book and what i would say. I informed her i would answer the phone like this.. “yo bitch!” …

    oh man. Just wait bud, the first chapter will be coming soon.

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